Time is the Only Cure
by mentalillusions
Summary: Story is set in season 2, episode 2. Edward Courtenay has been at the Downton village hospital for a few weeks, and is struggling to adjust and accept his new life, of being blinded by the gas in the trenches. Will Thomas be able to make him see that he has a life worth living and adapting to?
1. Chapter 1

a/n: never written a fanfic before so some feedback would be great. thanks.

Thomas smiled as he undid the bandages around Edwards' eyes. Even through extensive amounts of scarring and damaged skin tissue, his upper cheeks were still soft and delicate; Thomas thought as he dropped the stained linen in a nearby tub sitting on the bedside table. The lieutenant winced under the pain of his flesh being exposed to oxygen, knocking Thomas back to reality as he let out a soft whimper.  
"its alright" Thomas whispered softly, "I'll be over in just a sec, just let me clean yer up first, then I'll be done"  
"sorry, sorry I didn't mean to sound impatient, it...it's just that it hurts, that's all" Edward mumbled apologetically.

He twisled his thumbs nervously as he heard Thomas preparing the soapy water to clean his face with. He wondered whether corporal Borrow thought him foolish for still complaining at the pain of his eyes every time he went to attend them. He frowned at the thought. He had grown awful close to Corporal Borrow the few weeks he'd been there, and didn't want to lose his respect.

Mr. Barrow obviously misread his frown as a sign of worry, as he bent forward to place a warm hand on his shoulder, rubbing it slightly in comfort. "You'll be just fine lieutenant. I know it hurts at the moment, but it will eventually stop when you begin to heal up som'more. After all, time is the only cure" smiled Thomas in his most pleasantest of faces which were specially reserved for the kindest of people, or those with the largest wallets.  
"Yes, but when will that be!" Edward snapped, catching Thomas off guard, as he quickly removed his hand.  
"Soon enough." Thomas replied sternly, yet reassuringly, as he walked off. Edward listened to his steps fading away as he left the room, suddenly feeling guilty and alone, already longing for his return.


	2. Chapter 2

A few hours later, Thomas returned. It amazed him how he never seemed to be put off by his bad moods, like the other nurses, who would run at the first sign of a frown. In fact, it seemed to make him more determined, like he was drawn to his bad temper. But instead of responding in a pitying or weary nature, he seemed to reflect the attitudes of someone with a greater understanding for the circumstances, like he had been in this situation one too many times. It annoyed Edward as he realised he knew very little about the man who had waited on him hand and foot, the man who would clean and dress him, the man who would even advise him; when he had no idea whether he would go anywhere near him, netalone follow his teachings, if he were in full ownership of his eyes.

Who was this guy? And why did he seem to care so much? And more importantly, why did he feel the need to want to know more than just his name? He was just another doctor pretending to be interested in his physical, and emotional well being, he didn't really care, did he?

Edward scowled at the thought, as another suddenly lingered at the edge of his mind, desperate to get out. Since he had lost his sight, he found a undeserving increase in the ability of his ears, and would always listen to the noisy workings of the hospital; the patients, the visitors, but more importantly the doctors. He knew for a fact that he had never heard corporal Barrow give the others special treatment. So why him? He crumpled his face inquisitively, as his mind raced through possibilities.

"Not still grumpy from this morning, are we lieutenant?" the corporal mocked sarcastically, yet friendlily.

His voice awoke him from his daze, as he sat up straight to look at him, wherever he was.

"no I am not, thank you very much. I was merely thinking!" the words seemed to fall out his mouth, sounding much harsher than intended. He hoped Mr Barrow would take it in his stride and ignore it, not wanting to annoy him when he had finally come back. He was so lonely between their intervals of chat, and every time they ended he would already be anticipating the next. The nurses were no fun to talk to, only wanting to commit to small talk; or nurse Crawley who would natter on about Downton abbey, a place with no relevance to him at all. He'd never even been there, so didn't really want to hear about a place that might as well be fictional to him. But corporal barrow, he was different, their conversations he actually enjoyed. Unwillingly he felt himself slipping into a dream again.

"well I hope it's about our walk, 'cause i'm 'ere to take you out!"

He heard the words break through the walls of his mind and subconscious, almost like they were his on, specially designed to keep him focused. But he knew of course, that they were not, and that this was merely a routine for Barrow, and nothing more. So with further ado, he shakily stood up.

When they got outside, the breeze hit his face like an old friend being reunited to him. How he loved the fresh air when he was fully able-bodied.

"ah there's that smile! Nice to see you pulling an expression other than manic depressive for a change" the corporal joked, nudging him slightly in the process.

He smiled at the natural exchange of something beyond emotionless pleasantries. He loved how Thomas always seemed so genuine, even if he was doing it in a bad or less than polite way, it was still wonderfully refreshing to see someone speak their mind. Heaven knows he'd seen enough rigid social etiquette in his time to welcome anything, or any one, a little different. Not that his social position had allowed that before, but what's his family going to do about it now? Mr Barrow is his doctor, and they could hardly forbid him to converse with someone of a medical position.

_Perhaps I should have joined the army medics corps. too, then maybe I wouldn't be in this mess?_

"oi!" Barrow said poking him unexpectedly in the arm "you've 'ad enough time dozing of to Neverland, I would appreciate it if you tried to stay alert!"

Edward could feel the colour rise in his cheeks, at the pointy finger prodding him in the arm, and the casualness of Thomas' tone, impolite, yet, somehow charming.


	3. Chapter 3

As they walked down the lane outside the hospital, gathering up stray thoughts, Thomas turned to Edward giving him a relaxed, yet natural, smile. At that moment it struck Thomas that very little made him feel genuinely happy, but lieutenant Courtenay was most certainly the exception.

"So a quick spin round the village then I'll send yer back, to wallow in self pity or whatever you spend your days doing" Thomas teased with a lightness in his voice, which Edward couldn't quite pinpoint the nature of. It sounded almost... flirtatious? No, no, Corporal Barrow wasn't like that, he was sure of it. And now that he was blind and couldn't see visual signals, he had to be careful not to delude himself into what people could be; because he knows all to well he has a habit of just seeing what he wants to see, when it isn't really there. And now that he can't see... Who knows what could happen if he loses himself in a thought...like that.

Dismissing any thought of romantic interest, Edward decided to just take in the words, not how their being said. Surely it was just his warm hearted tone he gave to people he's friendly with?

_This isn't even worth thinking about, Its not like he's in love with_ _me._

And even if he was...that way, he wouldn't pick some blind depressive, would he?

"lieutenant?" Barrow questioned in a puzzled voice.  
" ...Sorry, I was just-"  
"-thinking? You spend a lot of time siftin' through that brain of yours, don't yer? Well c'mon, lets get moving we're here to walk not think. Its just round the village, surely you can manage to keep your thoughts at bay long enough for that!"  
Thomas taunted again happily, in that... Flirtatious-but-not-flirtatious-because-Thomas-isn't-like-that voice.

"surely i'm capable of being able to walk around more than just the bloody village! I wish you people wouldn't treat me like i'm made of glass! I am able to put one foot in front of the other without falling flat on my face, i'm not an imbercil!" Edward found himself shouting with a new found anger, probably developed from being shut up in a hospital environment 24/7, being treated for a helpless child, constantly being looked after and watched. He didn't want to be mad at Thomas though, he wasn't the one he was mad at, he was just always so to hand and willing to deal with the sudden temper he had been saving up from throughout the day.

"Well" corporal Barrow replied, unfazed by the sudden outburst. "where do you want to go instead?"  
Edward furrowed his brow deeply in thought "I don't care, you lead the way, just as long as you take me somewhere more exciting than the village" Edward said finally like he had just finalised a great route for their walk, but in reality had just left Thomas to make his mind up for him. In many ways he didn't mind Mr barrow deciding things for him, as he felt he genuinely cared and wanted to make the best decision for him; which is something he never felt from any of the other nurses, a feeling of being cared for on a deeper level. But maybe that was just him seeing what he wants to see again.

As they began to walk, Edward felt the terrain of the ground getting more and more uneven. Nevertheless he still tried to continue moving at a strong and steady pace, somehow feeling desperate to prove to the corporal that he was more than capable of moving around freely on his own.

He smirked to himself, feeling full of pride, as he tactfully avoided several stray branches. Lost in his self-confidence, he forgot to continue his task of sourcing out obstacles and soon found his foot becoming caught up in a ditch of some sort, most likely a rabbit hole. Wobbling, he began to fall forward dropping his stick, and reaching his hands out to find support. Just as he was about to plummet down into the mud, he felt two strong hands grip him above his waist, whilst falling face first into Thomas chest.

_Great, now he's definitely going to think i'm incapable._

"ay! Easy does it! I fear there would be questions if I 'ad to bring you back in a stretcher!" corporal barrow joked, latching on tighter to his ribs as he began to pull him up.

"s-sorry, I er- lost my balance, I-" lost in his own embarrassment he completely forgot about the two hands firmly placed on either side of Mr barrows chest. He could feel his face getting hot, and was certain he was blushing horribly.

"no worry, there's no harm done, yet. just promise me you'll be more careful next time, I don't want to be the one who takes you out further then your meant to go, and breaks yer neck. I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt because of me"

Edward felt himself beam at the mention of his importance to someone else, and suddenly didn't care if his cheeks were going red or if he looked embarrassed, because he knew it was in a good way, and at that moment didn't really care if Mr barrow realised the effect of his words, he wanted him to know.

"hey, come over here, there's a place we can go in to sit a while, and..talk, bet your dyin' for a chat with someone other than nurse Crawley ay?" Corporal Barrow called softly, not wanting to startle him.

Following he sound of his voice he found himself anticipating what Thomas meant by 'talk' and what he could of meant. Or was that him just deluding himself again?


	4. Chapter 4

a/n:Sorry for the slightly late update, wasn't to sure how to go about writing this chapter. It's mostly in Thomas perspective as I felt the story needed his views on the matter. Also, could I have some feedback as i'm not sure if it's sounding kind of rambly, or okay or what. And I don't want people to be reading it and be like"what the hell is this?"

Edward felt himself be led slowly into a small room of some sort. Running his hands along the walls he could feel the grain of wood. Shed? Why would Thomas lead him to stand in a shed? Saying that, after swinging his stick around a few times, he didn't hit any objects of sorts, proving his theory of the room being a shed wrong. People normally put things inside a shed not leave them empty. No, no, it was something else.

"bird watching hut" Thomas announced proudly, almost as if he were replying to his thoughts.  
"oh. That's what it is..." Edward mumbled more to himself than the corporal.

(Thomas' POV)  
Reaching his non-gloved hand up, he began lightly pulling at the starchy fabric of Edwards trousers, by means of guiding him down to the bench.

Thomas blushed slightly, as he realised how close Edward was sitting to him. He didn't notice upon sitting down, how small the bench really was, and could feel the full length of Edwards upper thigh pressing against his own. His blush deepened to a darker red, almost a crimson.

_Why am I blushing? Thomas barrow doesn't blush!_

But there was something about the closeness of Edward to himself that filled his stomach with butterflies, and made his palms sweat as he wondered what to do next.

_Bugger._

Now that they were both sitting down, the reality of the ever growing awkward silence, and utter cluelessness of what to say to him, dawned upon Thomas.

What was he going to say? Edward had hardly been responding to his friendly, and dare he say it, romantically inclined gestures, that it left him rather unsure on what he _could_ say. He couldn't exactly jump right in with something of a sexual nature, of any kind, no matter how innocent it is considered; well at least not on the first sentence. No, no, that wouldn't do. Friendly? Yes. That will work (If I can remember how to be friendly with someone). And maybe attempt to subtly delve deeper into the surface of his private life?

_Need to know all I can after all. Don't want to try and kiss him and then have him tell me he has a wife._

Reaching into the trouser pocket of his military uniform, he began to rummage around for a cigarette, wishing he had done so before he sat down, elbowing Edward several times in the process.

"sorry lieutenant " Thomas spluttered out, whilst bringing the fag to his lips to light. Taking a long drag, holding it in his non-gloved hand, he reached his arm down gradually as he exhaled and watched the trail of smoke fill the air slowly, disappearing to become nothing more than thin air.

His slow actions had successfully stalled him enough time to think of some appropriate things to say.

"so lieutenant," Edward perked his head up attentively at the sound of Thomas voice. He smirked at the swiftness of his physical reply, he had never seen someone look at him like they cared, and doubted he ever would again. Edward was a one off. Staring at his lips, he couldn't help thinking how easy it would be to kiss him then and there. Edward had such lovely lips, they looked soft and tender, completely unaffected by the gas. Mind you, Edward had such lovely everything, Thomas thought getting lost in his eyes for a moment.

"yes corporal?" Edward prompted, with a half smile on his face, already knowing the response.

"sorry, just got lost in a moment of thought, I wa-"

"You spend a lot of time thinking don't you, corporal barrow?" Edward joked in a mocking tone, using the words he'd said earlier that day. Normally he would of cut someone down for such cheek, but with Edward just made him grin, as he stared at the sweet smile on his face. Absent-mindedly he began to reach his hand up, dropping the cigarette on the floor, leaning forward slightly, close enough to smell the clean soapiness of his skin. With his hand midway through the air, he stopped. What the hell was he doing? Reluctantly he began to pull away, restraining himself from the desire, pulling his arm back down, to rest once again on his leg. He sighed as he thought about how much he wanted to stroke Edward tenderly on the cheek, and cup his face in his palm, which he was seconds away from doing. And with a patient. A patient which has also shown no interest in him romantically. How embarrassing!

_Thank god he's blind otherwise that would of been a tricky situation to get out of..._

Pulling himself together, he turned his blush into a pleasant smile, and began to talk.

They spoke causally for some time, discussing their former lives from before the war, saying the bare minimum about his own private affairs; not that he had much of a story to tell. Nonetheless, he left out all the details which could shed a negative light on himself, which ironically happened to be just about all of them. Mainly acquiring after Edwards life in the manor house to which he was born and raised, their talk lead a safe route.

But he knew that sooner or later the conversation would have to turn to more personal matters (even though they probably wouldn't of been viewed upon as personal by people who weren't like him, and had no reason to think that the answer would be in any way... scandalous) so even if he didn't want it to, he knew it was likely Edward would ask, even if he was the same; even if only to fill a void of empty air, or a wondering question lurking deep inside the lieutenants heart. He hoped so dearly that he wondered the same thing, and although he never liked to feel he needed anyone in his life, for the first time, he was not afraid to say that he needed somebody, he needed Edward.

"so, corporal, do you have a sweetheart somewhere, or do you prefer to remain a mystery on such matters? Not wanting me to know any more than your previous occupation, sounds awful suspicious to me! How do I know your not a killer?" Edward joked playfully in that tone that melted his heart and turned his legs to jelly.

_God, am I going soft? Swooning like a little school girl, at the first mention of something as foolish as love?_

He frowned in thought, wondering how to suitably reply. Still not knowing Edwards orientation it would have to be a response that didn't openly suggest he was of a certain 'inclination', but also one which doesn't right out the idea, if Edward were to be the same. Need to leave it open, but not too open.

"NO! I've had nobody in years" Thomas blurted out, feeling an immediate lose of control over his own voice.

_Bugger! What. The. Hell. Did I just say! Now he's going to think i'm some lonely git who can't find a companion regardless of the gender! Or even worse still, repulsively ugly! Need to make amends, and fast._

The lieutenant blinked in surprise, as a confused frown washed over his face.

"what I mean is..." _what do I mean?_ "the right...person just hast come along yet" _no can't have him think that he isn't the right person_ "at Downton I mean...and then there was the war, and..er..everyone potential died..."

God that was almost going good, until that last bloody line! Why did I say that!

He watched as Edwards frown began to lighten. "and who would you consider potential Mr. Barrow?"

"Well, ummm" _bugger now he's really cornered me!_ "someone...umm..livin'?"

_Or course, someone who's alive, great going Thomas, real great save. Christ, need to change the topic, and fast._

The next few moments passed in complete speechlessness. He knew he needed to break the silence and anyway, the curiosity was killing him, "what about you? Do you have someone special?"

He felt his stomach twist at the words he'd just said, as he awaited the answer.

"No" Edward replied bitterly "and I don't suppose there ever will be now, not with this" he growled, gesturing towards his face with his right hand, whilst the other gripped the fabric of his trousers, clenched into a fist.

A moment of madness took over as he caught the gesturing hand, holding it loosely in the air, and rubbing it slightly in circular motions with his thumb, as he looked deeply into his eyes, hoping that although he could not see him, he would somehow sense his care.

"you will find someone Edward Your blindness is not a weakness, it makes you stronger everyday you learn to live with it, every time you have to try and continue with your life." he pleaded, bringing his left hand to join the other, as he clasped Edwards now relaxed palm, stroking it gently in unison with his fingers, hoping to bring about some comfort. "your attitude is your only weakness. Over come that, and you over come everything."

"but-"  
"don't question it, if you believe in yourself, you will find someone, you can be happy if you only think positively"

For what felt like the longest time they sat in complete and utter silence. Him rethinking what he'd just said, and Edward most likely how to react to it.

_Oh god, was I...did I sound...flirty? Bugger, was it obviously flirty? Christ._

_Well he didn't react, when surely that was his chance to react, and if he is... Like me, he would of responded. I guess he's just not interested. _

_Then again he didn't seem appalled by my actions._

_Then again he's lonely and depressed, and he'd take affection from from a lemon if it was offering or a nurse, not much difference in it though with some of the girls they've sent us..._

_That reminds me, need to teach that stupid girl Barbara where all the hospital equipment is. Eh, do it later._

"Right. Guess its time for us to be getting back then, ay?"


	5. Chapter 5

The next day was quite, with many of the soldiers completing enough of a recovery to return home, or back to war if they were unlucky, leaving Downton hospital in a calm and mellowed atmosphere. Or at least until the next shipment of men.

With the days currently following a relaxed schedule for the next few weeks, Dr Clarkson seized this opportunity to show some of the new nurses the workings of the place, or rather have Thomas do it for him. To say he wasn't looking forward to it was an understatement.

He sighed heavily as he crossed through the halls to source out Barbara, the newly trained army nurse, sent to assist them with the soon to be growing number of emitted patients.

God knows how they ever let her join any type of medical position, Thomas thought wearily, remembering how daft she had seemed when he first met her only a few afternoons ago.

Nearly bumping into nurse crawly on his journey to find the stupid girl, he decided this was a good time to ask if she had seen her. After all, it most certainly wasn't his job to find lousy employees, and the quicker he gets this over with, the better.

"Ay, sorry nurse Crawley Eh, you haven' seen that silly cow Barbara 'round any where 'ave you? I've been circling this place for at least half an hour and can't find her anywhere!" Thomas huffed, completely forgetting all the professional grace he had learnt as a footman, and the mannerism one should have when talking to a lady.  
To Thomas' surprise, she always seemed to take well to a lack of social grace, especially since becoming a nurse. She almost seemed to find it amusing. Living all her life as a secret free spirit trapped in the body of a lady has probably made her crazy.

_Hell, I Don't blame her, I'd be crazy if I had to live in that house being raised by Carson. _

Thomas let himself relax a little, feeling safe within the current eased social atmosphere, and allowed himself to talk to her in a more comfortable tone, like they were both considered equal human beings.

_What would Downton staff say if they saw me now? Rubbing shoulders with an aristocrat!_

"no, sorry, I haven't seen her around Corporal. She is a funny one, isn't she?" she said warmly in a voice so tender that you wouldn't expect that she was thinking the exact same thing as Thomas.  
"you could say that. But I rather prefer the word nitwit. Or eejit maybe?" Thomas said with his most devious smile, hoping to win her over to his point of view with some Irish colloquialism. Nurse Crawley laughed at the crudeness of his words, her mind straying to memory's of branson, reliving moments of his Irish charm.

Feeling pleasantly cheered up she replied "yes that is certainly another way of putting it"

Thomas felt his lips twitch and turn into a smile. He wasn't going to lie (for once), he had very grown fond of the nurse since working with her. And it was certainly refreshing to be in the presence of someone who could take a joke. Back at Downton he would of been clipped round the ear for such a remark.

Seeing his chance to tell a story which had been whirling round his head the past couple of days, dying to get out his mouth; he decided to take it. With a lack of intelligent people to converse with, it had been just sitting around aimlessly in his tired mind. Ever since leaving Downton, it has made him feel strangely sad when he has amusing or outrageous news, and is looking forward to telling it to someone, only to find there's no one there. It's almost like he misses O'Brien, not that he does, of course, because Thomas Barrow doesn't get emotional over people, especially sour faced old women. But most of the other nurses wouldn't understand an anecdote of poor hospital conduct, and wouldn't be able to gather why it was so bad, but nurse Crawley would. She may be free spirited but she knows and respects her job, much like himself really. And if anyone here is going to understand a story of horror about professional standards not being met, its her.  
After all, this is a tale so shocking it would knock Carson's eyebrows off. And that's saying something.

"The other day when I first saw her, she was tending to a patient with a severed arm, she dropped his bloody bandage on the bedside table, letting god knows what drip down the sides of the door. Then she dropped the new linen on the floor with all the muck and grime. The thing was filthy" Thomas glanced up at her face a few times to see if she was as horrified as he was for the girls lack of professionalism. Sure enough she was, and began to screw up her forehead so her face conveyed a suitable amount of disgust as he went on. Now he knew for certain he wasn't being to high and mighty about hospital conduct, because if he could get a reaction out of lady i'm-fine-with-anything-and-even-if-i'm-not-I-was-taught-how-to-keep-a-straight-face Sybil, then the matter must be shocking.  
Feeling satisfied with her expression, he continued.  
"and then she tried to proceed with using it on the poor lad who 'ad nearly 'ad his arm blown off! There was crud and fluff and dust and splatters of blood and chucks of flesh and guts all over this bandage" he said finding himself gasping, in across between revolt and excitement.

_Is this what my life has come to? Is this what I find interesting now?_

She crinkled her nose up at the last part of the sentence, as he started to regret his somewhat raw description. She was still a lady after all.  
"yeah, well, you get the picture don' ya? She's not right for the job. And what's more, i'm going to have to teach her stuff she should already know! I mean, if I don't she'll be spreading infection and probably killing people through her slack attitudes to care. She would be basicly a murderer left to her own devices! And I would he basicly a murderer for letting her continue!" he huffed feeling himself get infuriated, and suddenly developing a tinge of worry thinking about her attending to his Edward. She could kill him.

_But he's not YOUR Edward, is he?_

"Thomas! Don't you think that's taking things a little to far! But yes you will have to help her catch up and get her up to speed with the job" she shrilled, her voice full of humour at his over exaggeration and dramatics.  
"she'll need to catch up by about 100 years" Thomas muttered under his breath. With a deep sigh, he nodded his goodbyes to nurse Crawley and began to continue his journey, slumping away and descending into the darkness of his negative mind, portrayed through a badly lit corridor, rambling along until the walls slowly descended into nothing more than a door with a cackling howl behind it. He'd found her.


	6. Chapter 6

How could I? How could I of got it so wrong? How could I of ever thought he was like me? He's not like me at all! How could I of been so stupid? Letting my mind and heart trick me into seeing, not even seeing, merely believing that there could of been an us. Or at least the possibility of an us.

He heard another glass shattering squeal come from the storage cupboard. Thomas was probably wooing one of the new nurses at that very moment _(__she must be new, I would remember hearing a laugh like that), _their flirting concealed behind that door.

_But not concealed from my ears!_

Edward continued to listen, feeling his heart fall apart at the sounds of their muffled voices. Yes, he couldn't hear _exactly_ what was being said, but he didn't need to. The tone of her voice and her deafening giggles were enough to prove Edward had been made a fool. Proof that Thomas Barrow wasn't like him at all! A nurse would never behave like that unless provoked in some way, by some kind of _flirtatious _behaviour. The word _'flirtatious'_ stuck in his mind, suddenly sounding bitter and raw, in this new _sleazy_ context. If Thomas were to be straight, he would of hoped that he would have more taste then that girl, who is obviously classless being so forward with him.

_Maybe he doesn't like her? Maybe it's all in my head?_

Edward sighed.

_If Thomas didn't like her, then he wouldn't keep telling her things to make her laugh._

Her giggles invaded his mind again. Feeling his eyes well up, he put his hands up to rest lightly over his face, thumbs pressed deep into his temples, thinking over all he's heard. All he now knows.

_Thomas doesn't like me at all. He likes women! If he did like me, then he would of made the effort to charm me like he's clearly charming her. And what would of been the danger in it? If I didn't turn out to be like him, he could of just said it was a harmless joke. I've been so delusional! _

He felt a tear slowly creep out his eye, attempting to trickle down his cheek, only to get caught in the bandages surrounding them. For the first time at the hospital, he was thankful that they were there, so no one could see the pain in his tears. He didn't want the truth to be revealed within his eyes. And he was glad that it couldn't be seen, for now.

He scooted on the bed to lie horizontally on his side, turning his back towards the source of the torment, trying to block out all sounds.

_What's the point of living when the only thing I had in the way of hope, the only possible happy ending there could of been for me is gone! Stolen from beneath me. Stolen from my heart!_

Pulling the blankets up to his face, he nuzzled his head into the fabric, as if he could hide from the world and the judgemental eyes surrounding him.

* * *

**Meanwhile...**

"Why are you laughing! I'm only showing you where the bandages are kept!" Thomas huffed quizzically, confused by the girls strange reaction to medical equipment.  
"ooh! Its just your face whenever you show me something...soo serious!" the tarty looking girl, Barbara announced in a giddy slur (when he found her dawdling in the spare room, he was certain she was drunk; only to be told by nurse Crawley in a passing whisper that she's always like that _[is my confusion that easy to read?]_). Unexpectedly, she leered towards him, grabbing his arm in a bizzare clutching-shake motion.

"eh! Whachya trying to do, rip me arm off! Get off me!"

"ohh Corporaal barrrrow, you are funnny!"

_Why does she feel the need to extend all her words. Note to self:must remember to ask nurse Crawley to give her a check of some sort. She's either crazy, or really is drunk, and neither will work out in her favour._

"i'm not trying to be funny. This isn't a joke! Now get off me arm, straighten up, and conduct yourself properly! Your a nurse for Gods sake!" Thomas scowled, pulling away, looking down at the drunken floozy they'd been sent in place of a nurse.

"ahh! The girls said that you were one for conduct! Say you like things to be done proper. Say you don't like nothing out of line." she took a step closer to him, so close he could feel her breath hitting his neck. Reflexing, he bent backwards slightly, becoming cornered against the wall of the small supply room. She lent in.

_Bitch please. I'm not straight, and even if I were I wouldn't pick some short stumpy whore to be my girl. Back off._

Sadly, outside his mind, the sudden turn of events had left him rather speechless.

_I can't believe it! Me, Thomas Barrow, speechless. Well I never. Least at Downton, the kitchen maids never tried it on this far..._

Reaching a red nailed hand up, she went to stroke his jaw. He crinkled his face up at her unwanted movements, trying think of something to say to get her to stop. At the moment, he didn't even think he could form words.

_Well this is a first._

_How about 'i'm queer'_  
_Or 'I like boys'_  
_Or perhaps 'I already found the one for me, HIS names Edward.' Yes that ought to do it._

"Tell me corporal, how do you like your women to conduct themselves?" she said, running her thumb along his lips. He flinched at her undesirable touch.  
Laughing, her face lit up in surprise.  
"you ain't nervous are you? Who woulda thought it. Wait till the nurse 'ear bout this! The great Thomas Barrow, who can conduct himself through anything, is afraid of a little misconduct in a cupboard. C'mon, there ain't no need to be afraid" she whispered bringing her hand to rest on the back of his neck. She let out another sickening giggle.

_I think i'm going to puke in my mouth. Unhand me whore._

"I already have someone!"

_Why did I say that?_

She pulled away.  
"you what?" her layers of makeup rearranged themselves to show her utter shock.

"what's her name?!"  
"edw-" _bugger!_ "edd-erh-weina? Yes, my girls called Edwina, so if you wouldn't mind backing off, I don't think she'd much like another women touching me." Thomas smirked, overcome with a feeling of pride, for his successful escape.

_There's that voice I couldn't find. Nice save Thomas._

Snickering, she chocked out "yeah well I think I've learnt all I need to about where stuff goes." _yeah nowhere near m_e "In fact I didn't need you to show me in the first place, I already knew well enough! Good day Corporal" and with that she turned on her heel and left.

_Crisis averted. _

"THOMAS!" the Scottish doctor shouted, obviously in a mood, _and i'm the one who's on the tail end of it._  
"yes Dr Clarkson" Thomas sighed wearily.

_No rest for the wicked I suppose._

"if your done with Barbara, then you still have work to do! Come look at this patient, he says he's feeling unwell."

_Aren't__ we all?_

* * *

Turns out this unwell patient was feeling a little more than under the weather, causing everyone to stay up to all hours of the god forsaken night, doing an archaeological dig of his stomach, trying to find a bullet which had found it self lost in his internal organs. Unfortunately, this meant that he didn't have time to check on any of the other patients, more specifically Edward. By the time he was finished being stitched up, it was gone past midnight. The rest of the staff retired to their rooms, but after an ordeal like that, Thomas felt he needed sometime to himself to mellow in the hospital kitchen.

The 'kitchen' itself was in fact merely a beat up oven hob, with a table and two tired looking chairs. The room was hardly ever used because you couldn't see past the dust and darkness, with many of it surfaces having never seen the light of day, netalone been cleaned since the Victorian era. But Thomas didn't mind the darkness of the room, and in fact found it inviting, as he walked in to slump on a chair, shutting his eyes and letting the shadowy dark devour him whole, as his mind sorted through the many elements of the day.

A few minutes past with only himself and his thoughts in the closed off room, a rare occurrence in the busy hospital, reminding him how much he used to love thinking quietly.

His heart stopped as he felt his body tense up. Something wasn't right.

His eyes shot open at the sound of an ear piercing scream.


	7. Chapter 7

a/n: sorry about leaving you on a slight cliffhanger in the last chapter. And this isn't the end of the story even though it may sound like it (?), although the hospital duo should be coming to close some time in the next few chapters (unless I get carried away)! Oh and just a warning for suicide and harm reference in this chapter.

* * *

Edward screwed his eyes up. The pain was unbearable, yet welcomed at the same time. It was the realist thing he had felt since being there. The throbbing of the razor slicing through his wrists didn't lie to him. Or make him feel that he was loved. Or that there was any hope. It didn't make him believe that their could of been a him and Thomas. Him and a happy ending. The pain didn't tell him in an emotionless letter that when he comes back home, there will be nothing there for him, because his little bother jack has replaced his job, his life; that his little brother has finally got what he's always wanted. To replace him. The feeling of the blood dripping down his hands and onto the floor didn't hurt him like life had hurt him. It didn't tell him he had a future, when he knows he has none. The razor clutched in his hand, along with his slashed open veins, didn't hurt as much as his heart hurts now.

_A lifetime and this is what my existence amounts to! A lonely hospital bed and an estate out of my control. A home where I'll always be a visitor. A life where I'll always be separated from a lover I can never have. Isolated with dreams I can never fulfil. A life I can never live. A heart which will never be loved._

_This is for the best._  
_I'm just a burden now._  
_A body which needs caring for._  
_A wound which needs cleaning._

Edward felt an increasing weight on his eyelids, as his eyes began to force themselves shut, and his breath began to slow down, suddenly feeling distant and calm, as everything slipped away, into the darkness, into a bad dream...

"EDWARD!"  
His eyes were shut but he could feel his body being pressed against another.  
The symmetrical cuts on his arms being pressed.  
Tenderly, yet forcefully.

He heard the screams and wails of another. So distant. Yet slowly coming closer to him as they went on. Suddenly he felt his upper body being pulled into an upright position, limbs swinging around him, forcing him into an embrace. He felt numb all over. He could feel the other person, but not actually_ feel_ them, like he would normally. Instead of the usual feelings of tenderness and warmth brought by contact of another, this just felt like a temperature less pressure pushing into his skin. He knew they were still talking, he could feel the vibrations of their chest against his own, but the words became out of focus and distant and as they slipped away.

The voice came back, braking through into his soon to be unconsciousness.

"EDWARD! Please..please don't leave me..please hold on...please! Please, for me Edward, do it for me?"

He could feel hands grasped tightly around his shoulders shaking him. He could hear a voice. More clearly now. He unsqueezed his eyes, and although he was blind could see a lightness. As if awaking from some sort of confused sleep he became more aware of the noises around him. Thomas. He could hear Thomas Was his the voice he heard?

"Edward? Can you hear me? How are you feeling? Are you okay?" he heard the corporal say. He was scared. He could feel the worry and anguish in his voice.

He felt himself be hugged. The hug was warm and strong. Almost loving.

"Edward..I-I-I was so-I-I thought I lost you!" Initially Thomas' voice came out as a laugh of relief, only to turn in to strangled sob but the end.

"Please never do that to me again. I-I couldn't stand the pain of nearly loosing you again"  
His cries were more open his time, and he could feel him pressing his forehead into his chest.

The corporals sorrow suddenly made him feel a strong sense of fear mixed in with a concoction of regret and guilt. What was the reason for this strong reaction?

_You tried to kill yourself!_

_Am I actually going to die? Is this why he's crying?_

Edward felt tears stream down his own face, but not from the fresh throbbing wounds now bandaged on his wrists, but from having to witness Thomas' unexpected change in character, going from calm and collected to an emotional wreckage, over him.

_Why does he care so much?_

_[I'm his patient and I nearly bled to death! That's why he cares! Nothing more than it looking bad for a doctor to let a patient nearly die]_

_Or i'm going to actually die?_

_Why did I want to die again?_  
_[Because I can't bear to know he's in the arms of another, knowing I can never have him!]_

Edward felt a violent churning in the pit of his stomach as he realised that he didn't in fact have much evidence of anything to do with Thomas Far to little to want to kill himself over.

He didn't really Know anything about Thomas, and this reaction just confused things even more.

He felt Thomas body shake, head still pressed into his chest, as they both cried in the dim lighting of the sleepy hospital. Without thinking Edward drew his hand up to stroke the back of Thomas' head; both deep in thought and a million miles away at the same time.

_Even if this isn't what he wants, I can hardly make things any worse._

They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Thomas finally decided to speak, letting out strangled and breathless sobs words, relocating himself to sit slouched on the edge of the bed. His back was twisted round to look at Edwards, keeping his eye contact, still afraid of the possibility of loosing him, _however_ that maybe.

"you remember Edward when you were first here?" he paused hoping to have his full attention before he went on, he nodded in reply to show he was listening, desperate for the words to come.

"yes well...um..you remember I told you i'm...different?"

Thomas took a deep breathe, hardly believing what he was about to do, shutting his eyes, finding himself unable to watch his response, whatever it was.

Choosing his next words carefully he continued, tears still rolling down his cheek.

"well what makes me different is that...my heart lies somewhere else, somewhere other mens' hearts don't. Edward I- what i'm trying to say is that, my heart lies with you, and I-and I...I love you Edward!"

For a few seconds Thomas couldn't bear to open his eyes, terrified all his hopes and dreams would be crushed in one single, disgusted, look.

But what he opened his eyes to was quite the opposite, only breifly getting to look at him, before Edward flung his arms forward catching his body. Latching on to his torso, Edward pulled him back, overcome with emotions, as he dragged him across the bed, lying him flat over top of his body, burying his face between his shoulder and chest.

For what felt like an eternity, these actions spoke louder than any statement Edward could ever make, apart form one.

"I love you too Thomas"


	8. Chapter 8

Out of all the things Edward could of said, that was certainly not what he was expecting to hear, not that the statement went unwelcomed. He wasn't sure exactly _what_ he was expecting Edward to say; and not knowing his sexuality prior to making the show of his affections made it hard to predict what he would say or do. In all honesty, the most he was hoping to get from him was something along the lines of, 'oh, well I guess i'm not completely disgusted and repulsed by you', causing him to feel strangely unprepared for the verbal requiting of love he received.

Thomas felt a wave of emotions pass through him, as all his dreams of a life with Edward suddenly seemed so much more feasible, and dare he say it, almost realistic.

Although, in contrast to the unfamiliar sensation of love, and being loved, (which had always been an somewhat alien quality to him in life), he felt an unnerving pang of panic. Panic that cruel fate would turn Edwards affections away and against him, transforming the previous love into a surprise attack of anger and hate; only to have God spit on him from above as Edward walked out of his life, mocking him for even bothering to think that someone could possibly_ love_ him, whilst bellowing 'jokes on you Thomas, I condemn you to a life of misery and sin. Did you really think I'd let _you_ have a happy ending? Sorry bitch, your name has to be bates' to get a decent break round here.' Thinking about it, he wouldn't be surprised if God really did say that to him. After all, that guy had been nothing but a jerk to him, and hardly make his life any easier.

Thomas had to know if this was all real, (maybe I've dreamt all this, maybe I fell asleep on the kitchen table, and any minute now a nurse is going to walk in to find me face first licking the table and calling it 'Edward'), he just needed to check, check that this was all reality and that he still felt the same (maybe he just said he loves me because he's lost a lot of blood. He could of been delusional? Or hallucinating? Or deliriously mistaking me for someone else? These are all perfectly possible).

Sliding off the Lieutenant's chest, to lie on his side, propped up by his elbow, he stared at him for a second. Edward turned his head to look in his general direction as he felt the weight on his body shift and move to lie beside him on the bed. Leaning forward, with rapidly increasing breath, the Corporal pressed a kiss tenderly on his lips, letting it linger, moving his own mouth when he felt movements in response, Edward's reciprocation showing Thomas that his actions were received, understood, and welcome.

As the night wore on, Edward eventually fell asleep, interlocked in Thomas' arms, as he held on to him for dear life, terrified of loosing him. He knew full well he couldn't stay the whole night, if he was caught sleeping in the same bed as a patient, the results of this would be catatonic, and he couldn't risk loosing his job and being sent to army prison, or worse, back to the fronts. Nevertheless, he allowed himself to loiter beside him for an hour or so more, after he was certain Edward was asleep, unenthusiastic about the prospect of leaving the only person to ever genuinely love him, not wanting to go any time soon.

* * *

Dr Clarkson let out a sigh at the request, knowing he had no choice but to agree from a medical perspective.  
"I suppose he will have to stay then, after a suicide attempt like that, he is now once again in need of medical attention."

"Thank you sir, staying here means a lot to him, and to me, if I hadn't of found him in time, it is very much likely he would of died."

The doctor sighed again with a huff.

"but any more funny business like that again, and he'll be straight out. This is a hospital for people who are unwillingly harmed, not for those who inflict it upon themselves. The minute he's better he's going home! Now go make yourself useful Barrow, and tend to the patients!"

Walking out of the office, Thomas knew the first patient he was going to tend to, knowing that if this was to be the rest of his life, a never-ending war, and a hospital full of patients; he'd always be content as long as Edward was his patient and he was his doctor.


	9. Chapter 9

As the months went on, time really did prove to be the only cure, healing all life's problems and struggles in its due course.

Major changes arose in Downton and the hospital, positively affecting the lives of the hospital staff, emitted patients, but most importantly the lives of Thomas and Edward. All of the significant hospital staff, and previous patients, were moved to a convalescent home in Downton Abbey, shortly after nurse Crawley relayed the tragic story of his near death experience to the family. Within a few months of his attempted suicide, Edward's wrists had healed up enough to no longer cause him too much bother; along with the scarring around his eyes, and his depression which ended the minute he said 'I love you'.

During this time, Thomas and Edward formed a strong relationship, built on the firm grounds of friendship, care, and love. All their free time was dedicated to one another, always working to make the bonds to their shared affections stronger, spending the precious hours they had together stealing kisses behind trees on long midday walks, or enrapturing each other with hugs on midnight health inspections.

Although, all good things must come to an end, and before they knew it, they were lost in a seemingly perfect reality, with the sands of time slipping through their fingers at an ever growing rate. Before they knew it, the days had soon turned into weeks, and the weeks had soon turned into months, until eventually the time came when Edward had recovered enough to go home.

* * *

"But I can't possibly leave you" Edward exclaimed with worried hysterics, throwing his hands up in the air, most likely for dramatic effect, to show Thomas how unimpressed he was by the current situation.

"Look, I don't like this any more than you do, but you have to leave. It isn't my choice! Believe me, if it were up to me, I'd let you stay here forever, just so I could look after you, but it's Dr. Clarkson who makes these decisions, and there nothing I can do about it! This isn't to say that this is the end of our relationship just merely an...inconvinience. I'll visit you at home every chance I get, I promise!"

"But you'll never get the chance. You only get a half day off every two weeks, and that isn't enough time to travel to up to Oxford and back to pay me a visit. Plus, my family won't let me out on my own, and even if they did they'd be awful suspicious why I would want to be meeting up with my previous doctor"

Edward screwed his eyes up, looking near tears, as Thomas stroked his jaw line longingly by means of comfort.

"Oh its going to be awful Thomas! Their going to lock me up in the house for the rest of my life, and never let me out, hiring some man to babysit me for the rest of my days! My mother says she's already started looking. Its just an excuse I tell you! Their far too bloody middle class to admit they have a child that isn't _societies_ definition of perfect. Their embarrassed by me, and now they just want to pretend that I don't exist. If they hire someone, then they don't have to ever pay attention to their cripple son because 'someone's looking after him'"

Breathless, he felt himself be pushed into an embrace, as the tears started to stream down his face. Wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his uniform, he tried to conduct himself. He didn't want to look weak and feeble in front of Thomas, especially not with what he was about to say.

"I think its time to call it quits and accept that we've been beaten. There's no way we can stay together, it just wouldn't work, not with the current situation."  
Edward said with a sigh of grief, pulling away from Thomas, head bent down to look at the floor, as if in shame for what he'd just suggested.

"don't be ridiculous! Of course we can make it work!"

"but how Thomas? What do you suggest we do? What could we possibly do to make this work. I'll tell you, Nothing! There's nothing we can do"

_So much for the depression being gone._

"i'm sorry Thomas but...but, it would be difficult to continue a relationship long distance, with out it looking... Suspicious" Edward sighed, admitting defeat.

Thomas, on the other hand wasn't, frowning for a moment deep in thought.

"Need a valet?"

* * *

A/N: So this is the end of the story, as always comments and advice are very much appreciated, and I'd be very grateful if you'd tell me what you thought, and whether you liked it or not or what I could do to improve later on or whatever. Oh and thank you to everyone who followed this story, it means a lot to me that someone would want to read this piece of crap. Thanks.


	10. Chapter 10

**For those of you reading this, I have decided to make a sequel to 'Time is the only cure'. It's about Edward's life with Thomas after being discharged from the hospital, so if you were reading it and would like to continue, then it's going to go on under the new story title 'Discharged'.**

**Thanks**

**mentalillusions**

**p.s. oh and thank you for the feedback on the last chapter, and letting me know your opinions. **

**I didn't even know anyone was reading (and actually somewhat liking) the story, so it came as a pleasant surprise to see someone wanting more!**


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